Well, I got a mysterious IM from Tuttle yesterday evening that said that "people in higher places" suggest I ought to call Meghan. It turned out people in higher places meant Julie Z.C. So I said, what the hell. Why not? Oh, I remember why... cause it would be embarrassing and the feeling of rejection sucks ass. That's why not. But being the idiot that I am, I took Meghan's number from Tuttle, and decided to call her.

So after a hard days work (I got one f--king bag. I was supposed to have a putter as well, but the guy never showed. So I got a measly $50 for 5 hours of work. It was totally not worth it.), I got home and decided that this was it. I would call Meghan. I sat down, picked up the phone and dialed her number.

And I got an answering machine. But, hey, in a way, that makes things easier, right? I just leave a message, telling her what I've got to say, ask her to call me, and wait in nervousness for several agonizing hours. What message did I leave, you ask? Well, I took Tuttle's advice. He said that I should say something to the effect of "Hi (or hello). It's Joel Weinberger. I was wondering if, you know, you might want to hang out sometime or something." Except that Tuttle really recommended I say chill. But I didn't want to. Of course, it was this sort of ambiguous statement that got be into the whole Benet ordeal earlier this year (For more on "The Benet Situation" see: issues March through June), and you'd think one would learn from their mistakes. However, like an Alzheimer's patient, I ask her if she wants to hang out or do something sometime. I leave my number, and hang up.

Several hours later, with Doug at my house, I get a return phone call. She says she would like to hang out sometime, except she can't tonight or tommorow because of prior engagments, and she's going to be away from Monday to Saturday. F--k. I'm going to be away from next Saturday until the week after that. So that just screws me over big time. Once again, being the late motherf--ker that I am, I essentially miss out on my oppertunity. This will leave me very little time to see her when I get back. We hang up.

And I realize, I don't know if she knows I was asking her out on a date. Her response was just as ambiguous as my initial  message. I'm afraid this is Benet part duex, where I think I'm asking someone out (namely Benet or Meghan) and they aren't sure what I'm really asking (and are already involved with someone / not interested). So now I'm back to square one, as sad and anxious as I ever was. However, I had some temporary relief inbetween that involved some form of euphoria when I actually believed that she was interested. So it was not all in vain. Perhaps when I return from vacation I will find out for sure what's happening, or maybe I won't. Who knows.

I just spent a whole entry talking about this. Perhaps next time I'll actually talk about something interesting. Hey, wait a tick... I think Tuttle started this whole scheme just so I would have something to write about in my blog. Very sneaky Tuttle, very sneaky.

-Joel W.